He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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