remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
