meet me or not, i'm out of control
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
