Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
