I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize