WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
