Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
