We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
