I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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