"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
