Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
