he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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