my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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