Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
