Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
