I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
