I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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