my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize