dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
