I must be too annoying 4 u.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
