We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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