i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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