The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
