Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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