i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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