You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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