I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
