There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
