Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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