just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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