so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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