We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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