I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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