Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
