i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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