You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
