It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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