remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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