I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
