Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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