Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
