Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
