Is it normal to miss your booty call?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
