CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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