i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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