but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
