No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
