Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize