I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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