This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
