Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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