what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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