I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
