party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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