My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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