Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
