theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
