just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
