I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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