If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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