can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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