Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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