Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
