so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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