Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
