Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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